This blog is written four weeks into the stay-at-home order. Much has already been written about the possibility that a large number of people may decide during this time to request a separation or divorce. What we have found already at Beth Silverman & Associates is that people who have been thinking or talking about divorce for a long time are now ready to proceed. It seems that this time at home has allowed for time and space to think about their marriage and reach a conclusion that they do not wish to stay married. As a family law attorney, I appreciate the fact that a decision is being made thoughtfully, over time and after careful consideration.

There will be people who will find that forced togetherness has highlighted problems that may have existed in a marriage for a long time, but were more easily ignored or uncomfortably tolerated. With our mental and physical health so uncertain right now, people may decide they don’t want to live unhappily any longer. There will be others who may contemplate divorce out of a feeling of desperation after being forced to remain in close quarters with a spouse who is difficult or worse. This feeling may easily pass.

My hope is that each person will be able to test their feelings to assess whether these thoughts are circumstantial and likely to improve when life returns to normal, or whether the time and exposure to one’s spouse has allowed them to come to a reasoned conclusion that the marriage is not sustainable. Sometimes people are afraid to consult with a family law attorney, feeling they will be on a slippery slope with no turning back. But in fact, sometimes a consultation can bring about a change of heart. After understanding the process and trying it on for size, some will come to the decision that staying married is the better alternative.

Speaking with a therapist can be very helpful at a time like this to have a sounding board with a goal of achieving more clarity. This is always recommended.

Our lawyers are experienced in helping clients think through their options, which includes the option of remaining married. Although we are not currently meeting in person with clients, we are consulting by phone or Zoom. Some cases have been initiated already, whether it be by a divorce filing or starting a conversation with an attorney who has been engaged by your spouse. We are available for a brief phone call, at no charge, if you want to talk to one of our attorneys. Contact details are available here.